Glimpses of Eternity

“But why can’t you? Why can’t you just forget about eternity and worry about the short few years we have here? Why want an uncertain, maybe even improbable, eternity, when you can have a certain, and guaranteed, present pleasure?”. As Enakshi asked the question, her eyes wandered, around at the street. These weren’t questions she usually asked boys, and definitely not on the first date. 

Sai lifted up his head and waited for Enakshi to meet his gaze. “I get glimpses. I get glimpses when I listen to a beautiful song. I get glimpses when I see the joy a baby brings to a family. I get glimpses when… I get glimpses when I look into your eyes. Each one of those glimpses, each one, gives me hope, nourishes my faith.” 

Enakshi didn’t know what to say. She too had asked these questions before, a long time ago. She didn’t know others did, though. She thought they were for vagrants and wanderers, and she didn’t want to be a vagrant or wanderer. She wanted to be stable. She wanted to be secure. But asking these questions made her unstable and insecure. 

Now, here she was, on a date with a man who ticked off all her boxes, who seemed like he was going to give her that stability and security, but then be able to turn everything upside down by asking questions, those same questions she told herself shouldn’t be asked. 

They walked in silence for a block. Sai was terrified. He didn’t know if he had gone too far. It’s the first date. Why am I going existential now? 

Why I Am Converting to Roman Catholic Christianity

I will be defending my conversion to Roman Catholic Christianity. While it does not matter much, some background: I was previously an atheist/agnostic – especially influenced by the "New" Atheism. Prior to my atheism, I was a Hindu – sometimes nominally, sometimes really – the religion of my parents and of my ancestors. 

From the beginning, I must make something very clear: the manner in which I lay out my thoughts and my conclusions in this series of blog posts is most definitely not the manner in which the thoughts and conclusions actually arose in my mind. While no doubt partly intellectual, my conversion was ultimately driven by intuition, by, frankly, spirit. It was only far later on that I realized that the force that I felt pulling me into the Roman Catholic Church was God Himself. 

I do not intend these series of posts to, of themselves, convert anybody. Therefore, please do not read them as if I were trying to convert you. If they play any role, however small, in encouraging you to think more carefully about the Christian faith and of the role of Christ's Church in that faith, then I will be gladdened. Indeed, human beings do not convert other human beings. Conversion is a process that happens in one's own soul as one becomes aware of God's existence and God's love: conversion, therefore, is between a human being and God. Furthermore, conversion is a daily process. Every day, we sinners, well, sin; we fall short of the demands and beauty of God's unceasing Love. Thus, every day, we must convert. The goal of life, ultimately, is to stay in that state of conversion ceaselessly, a state of grace; then, one will die a saint and be with God in Heaven forever. If I have learned any one thing about the Christian faith, with my pitiable intellect and those few books I have read and actually absorbed, it is this: the Christian faith is an adventure. 

There are seven primary reasons which have convinced me that the Roman Catholic Church teaches the truth about man, God, and life. 

Reason #1: Objective morality exists. Objective morality cannot exist without an objective moral law. An objective moral law cannot exist without an objective moral lawgiver, whom we call God. Therefore, God exists. To deny objective morality leads to such heinous conclusions that I simply could not do so. The existence of right and wrong is the very presupposition of any conversation, and all arguments depend on conversation. To deny objective morality one must present an argument. However, since arguments depend on the existence of objective morality, such a denial is self-refuting. Furthermore, empirically speaking, the existence of objective logos and ethos is the very foundation of civilization – with the pinnacle of human civilization historically being the Western Civilization, which is the product of the fruitful marriage between Greco-Roman philosophy and Judeo-Christian theology. 

Reason #2: God's existence can be proven, and was proven, by natural reason alone. Change occurs. Change is the procession of something going from potential to actual. Such a series of change requires a first member. Since only actual things fully exist, and since only things that fully exist can perform any function, the first member must be a something purely actual. Christians claim this Pure Act to be God. If this is true, and I believe it is true, all instances of polytheism are immediately rendered impossible and false. Furthermore, it seems highly unlikely to be a mere coincidence that the God in Exodus 3:14 ("I AM WHO AM") would correspond perfectly with this God of classical theism. Therefore, it seems highly likely that the God of the Bible is a true God, and since there can only be one God, it seems highly likely that the God of the Bible is God. 

Reason #3: I have a desire for the infinite. "You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts will not rest until they rest in thee." -- St. Augustine in Confessions. My chasing of earthly pleasures, those of wealth, drink, food, women, and scientific knowledge ("the pleasure of finding things out") could never satisfy me, for I was trying to satisfy the desire for the infinite with something finite. However, this does not mean that desire for earthly pleasures is intrinsically disordered or evil. Rather, they must be properly ordered, with the ultimate ordering having God as the end to which all thoughts and actions are ordered. Thus, the existence of God gives an order to my life – an order that my soul craves. In this section, I will also explore the significance of Christianity's teaching on human sexuality, something I long agreed with but did not fully understand until I came to realize the heart of all Christian teaching: the unceasing and perfect Love of God. 

Reason #4: Christian teaching on human sexuality is true. The modern world, in a vicious fit of desiring pleasure above all else, has come to hate the Roman Catholic Church mostly because of the Church's courageous stand on the necessity of protecting the beauty of the human sexual act. The Church's predictions on the degradation of sexual morality all came true. I want no part of anything but real beauty – regardless of the difficulty of the demands. Furthermore, the Church does not teach a morality founded on legalism, but rather the demands stem from the very nature of the beauty of God's Love at the center. 

Reason #5: Christianity's truth is testified to by three hundred years of nearly constant martyrdom. Christianity is, ultimately, being a slave of love – to the point of death, if necessary. When all is said and done, this is what life is truly about.  The Roman Catholic's claim to be the True Church of Christ Jesus is testified to by the fact that, even though there have been many sinful Popes, those sinful Popes never changed doctrine to accommodate their sin – for 2,000 years. Surely, a merely human institution could not survive even 500 years operated by such sinners without something like a Holy Spirit steering it forward! 

Reason #6: Christianity offers a theology which upholds human dignity with its audacious claim that human beings are made in the image and likeness of God. Furthermore, Christianity rejects a dualism between matter and spirit; God Himself became man, so that man can share in the divine life. Christianity, therefore, is not about following rules for the sake of rules; it is not a deontology. Rather, Christianity is about a transformation of a man into participation in the divine life, the life of the Triune and Living God. 

Reason #7: If Christianity is true, then the New Testament is the Word of God. If the New Testament is the Word of God, then John, Chapter 6 is true. It is clear that John 6 is meant to be taken literally. Therefore, the Eucharist truly does, in some way (via trans-substantiation), become the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ Himself. If this is true, how can I not come begging to receive Our Lord? The Eucharist is the sacrament to which all the other sacraments in the life of the Church are ordered to. It is the bread of life. It is our daily bread.